Archive for April 2007
Too Late To Say Goodbye
Today, I realized once again, in a period of just a few weeks, what it means not being able to say goodbye to someone who has been close to you.
Just a few weeks back I met Samuel on the train to the university. Somehow I felt that Samuel was not very well off that day. I kept talking about just some trivial stuff when he suddenly stopped me and asked if I knew that Lea had died. Last time I have seen Lea was in 2000, shortly before I left for my studies in the USA, but I have been thinking of her ever since, because we have spent a few years together not knowing what exactly attracted us to each other. We never really got to be together as a couple, because of certain circumstances, but we were always friends. I have tried to get in touch with her again a couple of years ago, just to see how she was doing, but even by googling her name I was not able to find anything, and I was not sure if I should ask her parents to give me her contact. I thought, one day we will meet again. Well, I was wrong. I googled her name this past January, but again no luck and a couple of months later I have to bare the fact that I will never ever see her again on the face of this world—which makes me really sad.
And today, something similar happened again. I came home from school and there was a classy-looking letter lying on my desk. “And another of my friends is getting married”, was my first thought. Wrong. Richard Uetz died this past weekend. Richard was Andy’s dad. Andy was the drummer for Monsterbazz, the band that gave me a lot of musical and emotional satisfaction. Andy and I spent many days and nights with our friend Daniel (guitar player for Monsterbazz) playing music, partying, talking about girls and other problems that crossed our ways, and Richard was always there supporting us emotionally and financially. One day we realized that we needed to move on and decided to end our Monsterbazz-era. Richard was very mad at me, because he thought it was my fault and he was very disappointed in seeing a band with a lot of potential breaking up. We did not talk to each other anymore and he did not even show up at our last concert, which was a real success. I was sad, but I thought we would get over it and one day we would be able to meet up again, drink a class of wine together and become friends again. Wrong again Sebi. I did not even know that Richard was sick. I would have wanted to at least tell him thank you one last time for everything he did for us—for me. One can say it is my fault. Maybe it is. I could have had the guts and just called him up. But who thinks about death when life is so present?
I do not know if I will change and get in touch with people I think I have to talk to before they—or I—die. One thing is for sure though, I will try to tell the people close to me every day how I feel about them and that I appreciate everything they do for me, for themselves, and for everyone else. Life is too short to be caught up in stress and worries. Let us live life together and let us share every moment with a smile and a tear that will make us remember what we need to cherish and what we need take with us.
